The Element of Compassion
|The morning after the first surgery.|
As I came to grips with my requirement for a readjustment of my self-image and the need to forgive myself, for some reason I began to ponder the necessity for compassion. I found this kind of peculiar. What does compassion have to do with a supreme understanding of what I was going through? I looked up the meaning of the word and it stated, “The sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others…” I was still a bit confused about what that had to do with me, so I sought some insight.
One of the things I did to try to lessen the self-imposed anguish I was going through was to say to myself, “Hey, there are certainly many who have gone through much worse than you are experiencing right now.” I tried to believe that, but somehow I found myself coming up short on imagining that anything could be worse than what was in my head right now. When you just can’t find it in you to look beyond your own suffering, it is very difficult to recognize and feel any compassion for anyone else’s suffering. So, I came to a point of resolution that I had to find a means to deal with my own fear, pain and self-doubt in order to be clear enough to show compassion for others. When I came to that level of revelation, it only lent further impetus to my pursuit of self-healing.
As I drew closer in my ability to deal with my problem through the inner Spiritual Tools that I was accumulating, it became more clear that my capacity to look beyond myself and forward to those who were in the same, if not worse condition, was indeed possible. As I pushed onward, this urge to show compassion was helping me by giving me a required sense of clarity. When I was finally able to abate my fear and self-loathing, I knew that the by-product of what I had accomplished would be the ability to assist others. That is the primary reason that I do what I am doing right now. That is writing down my story and explaining what I have gone through so that, if needed, you too will comprehend the truth that you can find a path by going within and seeking outer guidance and support to create your own tools of healing. I put this out as an expression of my Compassion for you and sincerely hope that you accept it and that it brings you awareness and divine solace.